Thursday, July 06, 2006


At first glance, Magnolia appeared to be the type of movie I would enjoy.

Unconvential plot - check.
Weird story and characters - check.
Dark theme - check.

Then I watched the first hour. It wasn't good. But I said to myself, "let's give this a chance, it might get better."

So I watched the second hour. Still not good. This was looking like a disaster. By this time I had invested two hours of my life watching this film. What the heck, might as well finish it, after all, I had only one hour left to go. Maybe there will be some plot twist in the end, some big payoff, some mind-bending profound ending that will give me inspiration and insight in my lonely life.

I watched the third hour.

Then the frogs fell. The movie ended.

There was no payoff. There was no big twist. It was a total waste of time.

Sure, you had Tom Cruise in a minor role, Julianne Moore, John C. Reilly, William H. Macy, even Roehl's favorite Philip Seymour Hoffman. So this had to be good right?

There are so many bad things about this movie I don't know where to start.

Let's talk about the good things. Julianne Moore in the drug store scene where she freaks out. That's it. OK, maybe the scene where Cruise and Hoffman are in at the same time, but it was only good because I could joke that they were both in MI3.

This is a really bad movie. It is boring, pointless, melodramatic, nonsensical, and anticlimactic. And it is three hours long.

In fact, it's probably one of the worst movies ever made. And I really wanted to like it. Too bad.

Rating: 1/5 *

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