The Scariest Movies of All Time

Here's a top 5 list of the scariest movies I've seen so far:

5. Seven
I was deeply disturbed many years ago after watching this. Each seven deadly sin torture scene was cringe-worthy. I still find this to be one of the most brutal movies ever made. It leaves a lot to the imagination of the viewer, which adds to the horror and disgust. The whole thing was so dark and depressing.

4. Signs
This is pure psychological terror, and also one of my favorite movies of all time. You experience the sense of isolation and uncertainty of the Hess family as if you were there with them. There was also this great exchange between Mel Gibson and Joaquin Phoenix on the couch about types of people and faith that was both thought-provoking and chilling at the same time. It's the sort of movie that will stay with you long after watching it.

3. Audition
Can't tell you much about this japanese film because to reveal more about it will destroy the intended horror effect. I was exhausted, mentally and physically spent after watching the final scene. The slow, easy-going, romantic first half is deliberate and meant to lull the viewer to a false sense of security. This had the biggest bang shock value I've ever experienced on a DVD.

2. Mulholland Drive
I originally wanted to watch this to see Naomi Watts topless in a lesbian scene but it turned into one of the most weird, disturbing, scary movies I've ever seen. Nothing is what it seems, nothing is explained. And the more you think about what transpired, the more layers of questions and horror are revealed as you lie wide awake at night. The effect is greatly magnified especially for those who have a big imagination. There were three extremely frightening scenes in this one: the dumpster scene outside the diner, the decaying corpse on the bed, and the entire Club Silencio part. I felt sick a whole month after watching it, I had just moved to a new dark empty apartment without TV and having only a few lights, which only made me afraid of going to certain rooms at night, or even looking out the window.

1. The Blair Witch Project
OK drum roll... there are two types of people, those who think The Blair Witch Project is the scariest thing ever made, and those who hate it. Let me tell you why this gave me the best scare experience ever. First of all, it was shot to look like it was really happening, that the events were actually recorded as an amateur documentary film, with the footage being discovered later. I came in the theater knowing this was fiction, but by the middle of the film I was thinking it was all real. Second, the greatest horror lies in our own imagination, and much of the footage provides fodder to our greatest fears. You start to imagine the witch, what it must be like to be trapped in the woods. You identify and feel the panic and terror that these college kids are experiencing. Last of all, the final scene is one of the most frightening movie moments of all time. My friends and I went to watch this at 12 midnight. After it was done, it was almost 2am and I was begging my friends to keep me company or at least accompany me home (I was concerned the witch might go after me, or I may see something I shouldn't be seeing at the corner of my house). After their laughter subsided and they could see I was shaking with fear, they decided to keep me company the rest of the night. And for several months after that I avoided dark corners around the house, or being alone in a room at night, just to be sure.


In related news, I'm planning to rent what could be one of the scariest horror movies ever made, one with a reportedly sick, twisted ending. The title is 'Oldboy'. If it's as good as they say it is, I'll add it to the list above.

Fuzzy Logic

I knew I had to get this David Benoit CD after I heard 'Then The Morning Comes' on the radio. I hadn't even known at the time that it was a remake of an original song by Smash Mouth. But Benoit pulls it off with a kickass powerful instrumental rendition. I liked the sharp harpsichord piano combined with wind instruments. By the way, the original Smash Mouth version is cool too.

I initially thought the album title 'Fuzzy Logic' was a reference to the computer artificial intelligence fuzzy logic concept, but the more I think of it, it's more about the theme of combining various instruments in a contradictory way to evoke emotions in the listener. This is the CD you want playing while reading a good book or surfing the web. The first half is all about speed, excitement, caffeine, while the second half settles down to a relaxing tone. I liked the first few songs 'Snap!', 'Fuzzy Logic', 'Someday Soon', and of course 'Then The Morning Comes'. The later songs are pretty forgetable, though 'War Of The S.U.V.'s' is ok. All in all, a good one to have.

Rating: 3 out of 5 stars * * *
Then The Morning Comes

Computer Shows

The untimely demise of TechTV left a huge void in computer and technology-related programming on the airwaves. Fortunately, there has been a recent renaissance in tech-related shows on TV, radio, and the web, most of whom were produced by the old TechTV mainstays. As someone who works and plays with computers everyday, you gotta love this stuff. Here's a list of my favorite shows that I follow:

1. This Week in Tech (podcast)
Leo Laporte, Patrick Norton, Kevin Rose, and the old Screen Savers gang are back in this very informative and entertaining weekly podcast. Leo and his buddies sit back, relax, and be their geeky selves as they discuss all the latest tech news. This is ground zero for everything tech. Also check out Leo's other podcast, Security Now! with Steve Gibson which focuses on computer security related topics.

2. Call For Help
Leo had to move his show to Canada after it was canceled. Thank goodness someone in Canada had the sense to pick this up. Leo and his 'Call for Help'ers, Amber and Andy have fascinating guests such as Mr. Excel, The Photoshop Guy, and The Security Guy Steve Gibson, as well as help call in viewers with their computer problems. Fun and educational.

3. KFI Tech Guy (radio)
Man, this Laporte guy must be real busy. This is Leo in his finest form, as radio is his favorite medium. He tries to solve listener's computer problems in his show and makes complicated topics easy to understand. I listen to this over the internet every weekend. Most of it is basic stuff. Still it's a fun tech talk show.

4. Digital Life TV
This is hosted by Patrick Norton, Leo's former co-host in The Screen Savers. This web-only show is probably the closest thing you'll get to TechTV-style programming. They cover a lot of howto topics as well as all the newest gadgets available. Fun weekly show.

5. commandN
Hosted by Amber Mac and Mikey of Call For Help. Another web-only tech news show from a younger perspective. The nice thing about this is that it covers pop tech culture without catering to the lowest common denominator of viewer. While entertaining and informative, the best reason to watch this is to see the lovely Amber in her own show.

The growing available of video and audio over the internet as opposed to traditional broadcast airwaves signals a trend towards Internet TV. We're witnessing the start of the golden age of IP TV. I can hardly wait.

Love Actually

Love Actually has to be one of the most cringe-inducing movies ever made. Every scene seems designed to trigger some form of emotion one way or another. It feels so contrived, so mechanically produced to create those warm fuzzy uncomfortable feelings of love.

The movie was written by Richard Curtis, who also penned the brilliant Notting Hill screenplay. So I expected some good writing here. There are numerous characters, some interrelated with each other, with neither of them standing out as a central main protagonist. It tells the story of several couples: the British Prime Minister (Hugh Grant) and his secretary, the relationship between a stepdad (Liam Neeson) and his young son, a forbidden infatuation between a young bride (Keira Knightley) and her husband's best friend, a couple whose marriage is on the rocks (Alan Rickman and Emma Thompson), a woman (Laura Linney) who sacrifices everything for her mentally ill brother, an over the hill rock star and his manager, and a recently single author (Colin Firth) who falls in love with a woman he can't understand.

Most of the scenes are pure corn. It seems like they go for broke in the corniness department at every other scene. My personal favorite storyline, and also the most outlandish one, is the one between Colin Firth and Aurelia. There's also the obligatory Hugh Grant 'dancing thinking no one is watching' scene in which I only laughed the second time I saw it.

Best and funniest quote in the film goes to Liam Neeson's stepson: "Let's go get the shit kicked out of us by love", something I can personally relate to, hehehe. I also liked the scene where the old rock star chooses to spend Christmas Eve with his manager rather than at Elton John's wild party. Another cringe-inducing, but cute scene is the part where the guy shows up at Keira Knightley's house with the billboards. Not all relationships end in happy endings by the way, probably to make the movie more realistic and also to counterbalance the totally improbable resolutions of the Hugh Grant and Colin Firth storylines.

Whenever anyone asks me about this movie, I always tell them it's pure corn. But since I'm a sucker for this kind of shit, I actually liked it.

Rating: 4 out of 5 stars * * * *
Pure corn.

A Gaming Curmudgeon Lashes Out

My mother once called me a 'high tech bum' for spending too much time playing computer games and not helping around the house. Once, during a month-long Civ1 odyssey, I would rarely bathe, My days would consist of getting out of bed, powering on the PC, and playing Civ. Numerous times I would miss dinner with the family to play that one extra turn that would enable me to wipe out those evil Aztecs from the map. I used to come home from high school and spend hours playing Ancient Art of War, Lakers versus Celtics, and King's Quest. I would hang out in the computer and video game shops in Virra Mall just because it felt good to be around there.

I also binged on the Nintendo Famicom. I was hooked on Tecmo and Kinikuman Wrestling, perfecting my style so I could beat my brother. I have fond memories of Punch Out, Contra, Rygar, Excitebike, and Mario. So many games, so little time.

Then by the mid 90's, I lost track of the games. I was still a bum. Just no longer a high tech bum. I would only infrequently visit the computer game shops, which didn't hold my interest for too long. My brother though, kept playing, kept his gaming skills intact, while I languished. During this period, there was only one game I kept playing and it was Civ2.

A couple of years ago I decided I wanted to start playing games again. Not just Civ, but even some of the newer console games. My brother had a Playstation 1 and Sega Dreamcast which I wanted to try out. I told him "I want to play games again." So he handed me the controller and handed me a couple of games (I think it was a couple of 3D platformers and some of the Final Fantasy's) for me to try out.

My first thought upon seeing the new controller was "What's with all these buttons?" There were four buttons in the front, a gamepad, and two analog directional sticks. I was used to the Nintendo which had only two buttons, A and B, plus one directional pad. To add to my confusion, each of the four buttons in the Playstation Controller had a different function depending on which game you played. You push one button to jump, another to slide, another to duck, etc. "There are too many buttons" I told him, "I can only handle two buttons, A and B." Of course this was before I realized there were actually two MORE buttons in addition to the four. The controller actually had a left and right shoulder button that did different things.

My brain too was struggling with the 3D. I was used to dodging turtles and fireballs in 2D space with Mario. But this time I had to contend with the added dimension of depth. My character would jump in the air and I was too dumb to control where he landed because it was 3D. I couldn't handle 3D space, it was embarassing.

And the games were a lot harder too. My character kept getting killed over and over again. My pattern would be: Start level, Encounter obstacle, Get killed, Restart level. What's worse is my cousins who I used to make fun of when they were little, would get by the levels with ease. Games had gotten too complicated, too physically and mentally taxing for me.

Last year I got a Gamecube and tried my hand at gaming again. This time I actually finished a modern hack and slash game (LOTR The Two Towers, which is actually one of the better games available today). It was more of an exercise in frustration and patience than fun. My hands felt numb after the marathon sessions it took to finish a level. My brain too felt numb from the endless repetition of movements, repeat the same thing over and over until you get it right. Frequently the screen was filled with enemies which I couldn't defend against. Just repeat the combo, hack, slash, repeat the technique until you finish the level. On some levels I was almost in tears as I would be chopped down so close to the finish line.

First Person Shooters for the PC were no better. They make me dizzy and I get lost in the 3D walls and mazes. And it seemed to be endless repetition. Where's the fun in this? I was like a tired old dog who was helpless in the newer stuff.

All I ask is this - give me simple, fun games. Give me more creative gameplay, new concepts, rather than rehashing the same old FPS Shooter/Real Time Strategy/Hack and Slash/Action RPG that we have been force fed all this years. I want my games to be cool, inventive, and interesting. I applaud games with original concepts such as The Sims, Spore, Black and White, The Movies, SimCity, Animal Crossing. Give me more of these. Games today have become more of a manufacturing business, producing box after box of pre-fabricated products that add no new value, but which hardcore gamers continue to buy. Let's make games fun again please.

I want my games back.

Serenity

This movie was based on the short-lived sci-fi series Firefly. I was looking forward to this as it got rave reviews from the nerd community. It was heralded as being more fun than Revenge of the Sith, with a better story and set of characters. But it didn't work for me. It may be because I never watched the series the movie was based on. But no that's not it. I think the main problem was that the movie felt like a TV show. It lacked a certain polish.

The captain was probably the only interesting character. The rest were wooden carichatures (although the female engineer looked cute). Don't get me wrong, the story kept my interest throughout the movie and was nicely written, especially the secret revealed in the end. It just felt like many of the elements were done before. The 'Reavers' flesh-eating creatures sort of reminded me of the creatures in 'The Time Machine'. The Serenity ship and their crew felt like Morpheus and The Matrix travelling together. And I was mildly annoyed (and frightened at the same time) with the mind-reading crew member who kept the secret. Her acting was a bit too melodramatic, kind of out of place in this kind of film.

I did like the one liners the captain belted out such as "If you don't hear from me in one hour, take the ship... and come rescue me right away." The comedy elements in this one are good but not great.

In short, I enjoyed this movie. But it's not the next Star Wars or Star Trek. Though I can understand why hardcore fans will like this.

Rating: 3 out of 5 stars * * *
Lower your expectations for this one.

Ladyhawke, La Femme De La Nuit

i am looking for a DVD copy of this old 80s movie starring michelle pfeiffer. its about this couple; a lady and a knight who were cursed to spend their days separate. the lady turns into a hawke during the day and into a woman during the night. while the knight turns into a man during the day and into a wolf during the night.

i am not sure if the story was original for it bears ressemblance to several other medieval romantic stories. but if it is, i think the breaking of the curse was unsurprisingly obvious.

there was minimal special effects, or nothing at all, that i can recall from this movie. the story and actress michelle pfeiffer were both the only "special effects" it needed. it is a simple fantasy love story. very entertaining.

rating: 4 of 5 ****

Five Books I Never Finished

Regnery book publisher Marjory Ross gave an interesting piece of advice in a recent conference. I don't remember her exact words but it went something like 'Don't feel obligated to finish a book, especially if it's a bad one. Just stop reading and move on to the next one.'

It got me thinking about all the books I started reading but never finished. Here's a list of the top five fiction books I couldn't bear to read all the way through:

5. The Silmarillion - J.R.R. Tolkien
I'd just completed 'The Return of the King' and eager to read more Tolkien. So I picked up The Silmarillion and got as far as the second page before it put me to sleep. I haven't opened it since and probably never will.

4. Hannibal - Thomas Harris
I was looking forward to this. I mean, The Silence of the Lambs movie was good, so the sequel in book form should be a fun read, right? Unfortunately I had to force myself to read page after every page. And eventually gave up when the story languished in Florence. To this day, I still think there's a good book in here somewhere, we just need to be more patient. And hopefully it doesn't turn out as bad as the movie that was based on this.

3. The Sicilian - Mario Puzo
I thoroughly enjoyed The Godfather, great characters, epic storyline, one of the most entertaining books ever written. So of course I had to get The Sicilian, especially since Michael Corleone is featured in the first part. Alas, he only has a minor role as the main character is a Robin Hood type fugitive named Guiliano. This is not the sequel I thought it was, but rather a different story, though it's still possible that Puzo may tie the storyline to the Corleone family in the end. I never found out though because I quit reading one third of the way through. I still think this is a good book worth reading. One of these days I'll continue where I left off.

2. Prey - Michael Crichton
I really wanted to like this book. It's about nanotechnology, computers, has a computer programmer as the main character, had a futuristic setting, and was written in Crichton's entertaining yet informative style which I enjoyed in his previous work. Amazingly, I lost complete interest about halfway through the book, just when the action was heating up. It seemed uninspired, forced, tailored to a movie audience. Something didn't feel right. Either Crichton has lost his touch or my taste in fiction is changing.

1. Servant of the Bones - Anne Rice
No offence to Anne Rice fans but this was a disaster. I was literally within five pages of the ending, striking distance to ending my torture and boredom when I realized it just wasn't worth finishing it. I just didn't care about any of the characters or what happened to them. The storyline was irritating and nonsensical. I would rather play with my dog than invest ten more minutes reading the remaining crap.

Death Becomes Her

it is a comedy about immortality. now that i have turned 32 myself. well outside of what most people might consider as youth. it is, more than ever before, apparent this question of living forever or longer. it is fascinating to us. this subject because in truth we can only know the life we have here. on earth. and the rest -- beliefs of an after life are just means for most of us - the great majority, to cope with this undeniable fact of someday. this will all end.

the movie creates this situation where it is possible to go back. to become young again. during the peak of physical beauty and probably mental prowess too. in my case, right after college, and before i turned 25 is when i think, i was at my peak and during which after, and i am willing to openly admit it to the universe, that i have experienced a downward spiral since then.

will i take that potion? i will probably. because i miss it. i miss being young. i miss being confident about myself, my mind, my body.

rating: 3 out of 5 ***

Le Divorce

le divorce. a film about french culture from an american perspective. which means most of it may have been exagerrated. i cant be sure. i have never been nor exposed to it except through hollywood films. but one major theme was getting a mistress. i honestly dont see anything wrong with it except that im not in a relationship. maybe ill feel different when i am in one. but i can see myself getting a mistress when the relationship, and it is bound to happen, become sour. people can pretend to live happily together forever. despite the fact that we all know that .. that only happens in fairy tales. the movie exposes how the french accepts this fact. that people are subject to affairs outside marraige. the french appear decadent and backward. and that they may have archaic views about equality of the sexes especially during a divorce. i cant pinpoint exactly what it is but it was explicitly mentioned in the movie. i didnt understand parts of the ones where french was used. it was too rapidly spoken. and im not that good yet at listening.

all in all it was a window to the french culture. not exactly one that mirrors fact but rather maybe how americans view them.

rating: 3 out of 5 ***