Sunday, February 12, 2006

Firewall

The trailer advertises this movie as a high-tech thriller, with Harrison Ford playing the role of a computer security guy who discovers that his family is kidnapped and is forced to use his skills to steal from a large bank under the threat that his family will be killed.

The film turned out to be a big letdown, even lower than my low expectations. This is easily one of the the most inconsistent, illogical, inaccurate, boring movies I have watched in a long time. There were just too many plot holes, childish contrived scenarios, and unimaginative action scenes.

How did the bad guys get into the gated security? Why did the wife act surprised when Paul Bettany wasn't the pizza man she thought he was. Did the family actually order pizza? Do the pizza delivery guys have a free key to the gate?

Why use Harrison Ford in the first place when you already have his identity? Was the whole kidnapping really necessary? What the hell was the 'gambling thefts via identity theft' for in the initial scene?

Why waste time having the family try to escape the kidnappers? Oh I get it, it's to keep the audience in suspence for a few minutes.

Why do what 99% of all action/suspence movies do by having the good guy fight the bad guy in hand to hand combat in the end.

Why is there free wifi in isolated city streets and remote countryside regions? Man, I would love to have Harrison Ford's laptop, the one with the free internet connection everywhere he goes.

Why waste Virginia Madsen with such a useless role?

Why waste the audience's time with the all too common practice of having the handsome and gentlemanly villain?

Why does computer security expert Harrison Ford have such a lame easily breakable four character password?

Why were the bad guys too nice?

Why was Harrison Ford so lucky that the kidnappers decided to bring along the dog, which ultimately allowed them to be traced to their "secret" hideout. It still bothers me that Paul Bettany would have gotten away if not for the dog.

Why give the only two interesting characters in the movie, Ford's secretary, and the X-Files guy, such limited roles?

Why start with such an interesting premise, then stoop down to the lowest common denominator by using contrived, overused plot devices?

Why didn't I stay home instead of watching this crap?

Rating: 1/5 *
Watch CNN instead.

1 comment:

roehl said...

looks like i made the right decision skipping this one. :-)